my life in view 2

after i graduated i started working full time at mcds. were i was starting to spend all my time and feeling like my life had no meaning to it. but i knew there had to be a way to be happy again. so i started to look online for college and i found devry university. so i applied for college. but something happened and i was not able to go which realy sucked concidering that was my only chance to get out of this hell. the reason i call it hell is because of a mother always complaining about money, and going through the change of life. after awhile i started to look into studieing japanese. which i find to be fun. but when i speak it people look at me in a weired way. like saying wtf. its left me confused. i dont know what i want any more. i want happienes but there is only one was to achieve that and that is to move from here were my mom is and move in with my father. so that leaves me at a cross roads. should i stay here and be unhappy for the rest of my life and not hurt my mother by leaving, or should i move in with my father and be happy and do something that will get me places in life. cause were i live now there is nothing here its a retirement town. sure there are people my age here but there is not any thing for us to do here ecept to watch out friends get into drugs and go to jail. its a really hard thing to watch. i was moved here when i was young and lived with a drunk up till a few years ago. i tried to kill him but was not able to because of my mother. since then we have been trying to make ends meet. which are almost able to do. thats why i think she would be better off with out me. well thats pretty much my life.