Transgender Update

Well the time has come for a little update on my transition from male to female. I have found some estrogen pills online that i will buy out of my next paycheck. And this will help me do a few things. One of them is grow breast. Another is my face will start to look more feminine. Along with my hips. My arms and legs will also get skinnier. But there is one down side to all this. I will have no choice but to come out to my father and the rest of my family once I start this and start seeing results from the pills. But i have do have a announcement to make. I have came out to two more people since I last posted on the site. So I feel alot better about my self. But that is about all i have to say

New Project

Well every one I have a new project underway. This one involves transforming my car into my favorite car off my favorite anime. Its the Initial D project. Here is a pic of kind of what my car will look like.


I already have most the things I need in order to do this. All I need is paint and I will be ready to make my dream car. Minus the flip up head lights in the front. But yeah tell me what you think in the comment box below.

Had fun tonight

Ok let me tell you the amazing time i had on my way home. It started off as a normal drive nothing special. I get to the bottom of boone mountain and see a car off in the distance gaining speed rather quickly. So I chase after it and finally catch up after passing the skate rink. I get right on his tail. And mimic every move he makes. The we hit the three lane that goes up hill. This is were I dropped it down a gear and passed him. He soon followed behind me keeping up with me as I made the hill climb. We continued out run all the way into Tn. We approached a car not going near a fast as we were some I passed him. He attempted to pass me but I made sure to take up both lanes making it near impossible. Towards the end of the run there are a set of s-turns. This is were I made my final move. Its a one that i have practiced many times and not had the opportunity to test it out in a race. So I gear it down and take off into the turns. The car close behind me. I hit the first turn hard. I can feel the tires griping the road. I take the turn on the inside following a line that I had mapped out. The car behind me. Since it was a front wheel drive it could not enter the turn at the speed I was going. So I see him brake. That just makes me push it even harder. After the s-turns he was way behind me and I just slowed my pace and continued down a back road. I can only imagine what was going through that guys head. I think he is thinking he saw a ghost. Cause what I was doing almost defies the laws of physics. But yeah that put me in a awesome mood and I plan on finding the guy who was drive the car and talking to him to see what he though. I mean it should not be all that hard to find it. A white 2006 civic with rims there is only one of those in town.

Trials And Tribulations

Ok i don't think i have posted any about my love life on here before. There is a girl. Her name is Meagan Sky Boling. She is one of the most amazing girls I have ever met. I like every little thing about her. And I am learning more and more as time goes by. I do worry about her alot. Wondering if she is ok. Every day I check my facebook for a message from her. I dream about her. And every night before bed I prey for her. I don't know if she know how much I care about her. I can't seem to come out to her. Every time I get around her wanting to tell her. My stomic gets tied in knots and I just sit there quiet and confused. I guess my emotions get to me or something. But what i hope and I hope that she reads this. I really want her to be my GIRL FRIEND!!! I just want to be able to hold her in my arms.

My Drug

There are different ways people deal with stress. And i am no exception to this. My self I drive. I love to drive. And i know what some of you may be thinking. That is if you have read some of my previous post. Thats not very girl like of you. Well I am kind of a tomboy when it comes to cars. Just something about them calms me down. When I drive the world around me goes blank. I become one with the car. I can feel the road beneath me. I can feel every bump. Every peace of gravel. I can feel the wind pushing against the car trying to hold it back. I can even feel the way the motor runs. If its not running right i can tell it. So many things about driving calms me down. When I am upset I drive. Its almost like my car has a soul. It talks to me. Alot of people would say i was crazy when i say that. But its true. The car speaks to me. I know when to push it and when not too. One thing I like to do is just for a few minutes after work I will drive down the road a bit and pull over. I will get out of my car and climb on top of roof. I will lay down and enjoy the night air. There is no feeling like it. And people keep on telling me to get rid of my car. because its old and a little rusty. Sure it has its problems. But telling me to get rid of my car is like telling me to sell a part of my soul it will never happen. When I first saw the car. It was like it was speaking to me. I remember sitting in the drivers seat for the first time. It was magical. I knew that it was car that I was meant to drive. Its been every were with me. Not one night goes by that I don't think about it a little. I know one day we will have to part ways. but i hope that we don't have to do that for a long time. I know it sound like I am talking about the car like its a person. Well it is to me. But I will quit bloging for now. so good night every one.

starting to VLOG

as you know i have a youtube channel. well on that youtube channel i am going to start Vloging. And i am in need of subscribers so i am asking any one who wants to help me out. to please subscribe to my youtube channel just search for byxman89 and you will find me. I am also needing to have a subject to talk about every time i record a video. keep in mind i only have a 10min window to record in. So if you or any one you know has any suggestions to a topic we can talk about on the vlog. Please feel free to post a comment on here or on my youtube channel. Or you can send my a pm on youtube. your choice. But any way i am not going to stay on here and tell you about what my plans are. So i will blog again soon.

bad day

Well here i am again a little depressed. I had a hard day at work. And that kind of sent me into that dark place i don't like to go to in my head. The place were I hid for so many years. It started off good. that was until i found out that two people were having guest and they was putting them on my side. Note: one had two guest the other 5. and my side normally only has 7 tables open. But i ended up having to go into the club room and setting up two more tables that sucked so bad. And then after all that was said and done. i got every thing cleaned up and went into the back to eat my lunch. Next thing i know is a girl from house keeping comes in and starts fussing at me for sometihng I did not do. And that upset me. And sent me into the dark place. And when that happens I start going down hill fast. The rest of the day I was fighting back the tears so i could keep working and the residents could not tell something was wrong. I did my crying on the way home. but yeah that was my day. I hope tomorrow will be better.