My Drug

There are different ways people deal with stress. And i am no exception to this. My self I drive. I love to drive. And i know what some of you may be thinking. That is if you have read some of my previous post. Thats not very girl like of you. Well I am kind of a tomboy when it comes to cars. Just something about them calms me down. When I drive the world around me goes blank. I become one with the car. I can feel the road beneath me. I can feel every bump. Every peace of gravel. I can feel the wind pushing against the car trying to hold it back. I can even feel the way the motor runs. If its not running right i can tell it. So many things about driving calms me down. When I am upset I drive. Its almost like my car has a soul. It talks to me. Alot of people would say i was crazy when i say that. But its true. The car speaks to me. I know when to push it and when not too. One thing I like to do is just for a few minutes after work I will drive down the road a bit and pull over. I will get out of my car and climb on top of roof. I will lay down and enjoy the night air. There is no feeling like it. And people keep on telling me to get rid of my car. because its old and a little rusty. Sure it has its problems. But telling me to get rid of my car is like telling me to sell a part of my soul it will never happen. When I first saw the car. It was like it was speaking to me. I remember sitting in the drivers seat for the first time. It was magical. I knew that it was car that I was meant to drive. Its been every were with me. Not one night goes by that I don't think about it a little. I know one day we will have to part ways. but i hope that we don't have to do that for a long time. I know it sound like I am talking about the car like its a person. Well it is to me. But I will quit bloging for now. so good night every one.

starting to VLOG

as you know i have a youtube channel. well on that youtube channel i am going to start Vloging. And i am in need of subscribers so i am asking any one who wants to help me out. to please subscribe to my youtube channel just search for byxman89 and you will find me. I am also needing to have a subject to talk about every time i record a video. keep in mind i only have a 10min window to record in. So if you or any one you know has any suggestions to a topic we can talk about on the vlog. Please feel free to post a comment on here or on my youtube channel. Or you can send my a pm on youtube. your choice. But any way i am not going to stay on here and tell you about what my plans are. So i will blog again soon.

bad day

Well here i am again a little depressed. I had a hard day at work. And that kind of sent me into that dark place i don't like to go to in my head. The place were I hid for so many years. It started off good. that was until i found out that two people were having guest and they was putting them on my side. Note: one had two guest the other 5. and my side normally only has 7 tables open. But i ended up having to go into the club room and setting up two more tables that sucked so bad. And then after all that was said and done. i got every thing cleaned up and went into the back to eat my lunch. Next thing i know is a girl from house keeping comes in and starts fussing at me for sometihng I did not do. And that upset me. And sent me into the dark place. And when that happens I start going down hill fast. The rest of the day I was fighting back the tears so i could keep working and the residents could not tell something was wrong. I did my crying on the way home. but yeah that was my day. I hope tomorrow will be better.