Transgender Update

Well the time has come for a little update on my transition from male to female. I have found some estrogen pills online that i will buy out of my next paycheck. And this will help me do a few things. One of them is grow breast. Another is my face will start to look more feminine. Along with my hips. My arms and legs will also get skinnier. But there is one down side to all this. I will have no choice but to come out to my father and the rest of my family once I start this and start seeing results from the pills. But i have do have a announcement to make. I have came out to two more people since I last posted on the site. So I feel alot better about my self. But that is about all i have to say

New Project

Well every one I have a new project underway. This one involves transforming my car into my favorite car off my favorite anime. Its the Initial D project. Here is a pic of kind of what my car will look like.


I already have most the things I need in order to do this. All I need is paint and I will be ready to make my dream car. Minus the flip up head lights in the front. But yeah tell me what you think in the comment box below.

Had fun tonight

Ok let me tell you the amazing time i had on my way home. It started off as a normal drive nothing special. I get to the bottom of boone mountain and see a car off in the distance gaining speed rather quickly. So I chase after it and finally catch up after passing the skate rink. I get right on his tail. And mimic every move he makes. The we hit the three lane that goes up hill. This is were I dropped it down a gear and passed him. He soon followed behind me keeping up with me as I made the hill climb. We continued out run all the way into Tn. We approached a car not going near a fast as we were some I passed him. He attempted to pass me but I made sure to take up both lanes making it near impossible. Towards the end of the run there are a set of s-turns. This is were I made my final move. Its a one that i have practiced many times and not had the opportunity to test it out in a race. So I gear it down and take off into the turns. The car close behind me. I hit the first turn hard. I can feel the tires griping the road. I take the turn on the inside following a line that I had mapped out. The car behind me. Since it was a front wheel drive it could not enter the turn at the speed I was going. So I see him brake. That just makes me push it even harder. After the s-turns he was way behind me and I just slowed my pace and continued down a back road. I can only imagine what was going through that guys head. I think he is thinking he saw a ghost. Cause what I was doing almost defies the laws of physics. But yeah that put me in a awesome mood and I plan on finding the guy who was drive the car and talking to him to see what he though. I mean it should not be all that hard to find it. A white 2006 civic with rims there is only one of those in town.

Trials And Tribulations

Ok i don't think i have posted any about my love life on here before. There is a girl. Her name is Meagan Sky Boling. She is one of the most amazing girls I have ever met. I like every little thing about her. And I am learning more and more as time goes by. I do worry about her alot. Wondering if she is ok. Every day I check my facebook for a message from her. I dream about her. And every night before bed I prey for her. I don't know if she know how much I care about her. I can't seem to come out to her. Every time I get around her wanting to tell her. My stomic gets tied in knots and I just sit there quiet and confused. I guess my emotions get to me or something. But what i hope and I hope that she reads this. I really want her to be my GIRL FRIEND!!! I just want to be able to hold her in my arms.

My Drug

There are different ways people deal with stress. And i am no exception to this. My self I drive. I love to drive. And i know what some of you may be thinking. That is if you have read some of my previous post. Thats not very girl like of you. Well I am kind of a tomboy when it comes to cars. Just something about them calms me down. When I drive the world around me goes blank. I become one with the car. I can feel the road beneath me. I can feel every bump. Every peace of gravel. I can feel the wind pushing against the car trying to hold it back. I can even feel the way the motor runs. If its not running right i can tell it. So many things about driving calms me down. When I am upset I drive. Its almost like my car has a soul. It talks to me. Alot of people would say i was crazy when i say that. But its true. The car speaks to me. I know when to push it and when not too. One thing I like to do is just for a few minutes after work I will drive down the road a bit and pull over. I will get out of my car and climb on top of roof. I will lay down and enjoy the night air. There is no feeling like it. And people keep on telling me to get rid of my car. because its old and a little rusty. Sure it has its problems. But telling me to get rid of my car is like telling me to sell a part of my soul it will never happen. When I first saw the car. It was like it was speaking to me. I remember sitting in the drivers seat for the first time. It was magical. I knew that it was car that I was meant to drive. Its been every were with me. Not one night goes by that I don't think about it a little. I know one day we will have to part ways. but i hope that we don't have to do that for a long time. I know it sound like I am talking about the car like its a person. Well it is to me. But I will quit bloging for now. so good night every one.

starting to VLOG

as you know i have a youtube channel. well on that youtube channel i am going to start Vloging. And i am in need of subscribers so i am asking any one who wants to help me out. to please subscribe to my youtube channel just search for byxman89 and you will find me. I am also needing to have a subject to talk about every time i record a video. keep in mind i only have a 10min window to record in. So if you or any one you know has any suggestions to a topic we can talk about on the vlog. Please feel free to post a comment on here or on my youtube channel. Or you can send my a pm on youtube. your choice. But any way i am not going to stay on here and tell you about what my plans are. So i will blog again soon.

bad day

Well here i am again a little depressed. I had a hard day at work. And that kind of sent me into that dark place i don't like to go to in my head. The place were I hid for so many years. It started off good. that was until i found out that two people were having guest and they was putting them on my side. Note: one had two guest the other 5. and my side normally only has 7 tables open. But i ended up having to go into the club room and setting up two more tables that sucked so bad. And then after all that was said and done. i got every thing cleaned up and went into the back to eat my lunch. Next thing i know is a girl from house keeping comes in and starts fussing at me for sometihng I did not do. And that upset me. And sent me into the dark place. And when that happens I start going down hill fast. The rest of the day I was fighting back the tears so i could keep working and the residents could not tell something was wrong. I did my crying on the way home. but yeah that was my day. I hope tomorrow will be better.

Here I am

Here I am looking upon the clouds.

In my mind these thoughts they crowd.

Just another page in a book.

Some people should take another look.

All they see is the outside of me.

But what's on the inside is what I truly be.

Every night I pray.

I will wake up a girl the next day.


I was just sitting here when this popped into my head. this happens from time to time. I just happened to be sitting at the computer this time.

Life is going to get very interesting.

Well here i am once again bloging. this is something i enjoy doing. It really lets me get alot of stuff off my mind. but any way lets get down to the main reason i am typing this today. Kurtney is down for a visit and that makes me happy. she is one of the ones that know about me. And she is trying to get me to open up to her. And I am trying. Even though I know she would not try to hurt me. Im still afraid to come out to her fully. Its something thats just hard to do. Like last night I let her do my make-up. that was so fun. But i had to wash it off fast. I had to work today and that would have just been bad for me. No one at work knows about me. and i am glad. But I am trying to throw around some hints here and there, but alot of people now days are stupid and don't catch on very easy. Like at the beach I bought some silly bands. And some of them are pink. I LOVE PINK!!! And i have been wearing them around work and stuff. But I have only had a few ask me why I was wearing pink. I responded with. Whats the problem with boys wearing pink. All it is. Is a color. It shut them up. But im just waiting for some of the head people to ask me. Then I will load their heads with so much stuff they did not know. It will be funny. Cause really back before the 60s Pink was a guys color. But after that it was considered a female color. And on the outside I may be male. But on the inside. I am female and don't you forget it. But any way. Before I just start to randomly ramble about how messed up the world is. Im going to get off here. so bye every one.

Living Transgender

Ok if know me then you know that I have always been shy around people when I first meet them. One reason behind that is me being transgender. It has made a huge impact on my life. But any way on to the point of this entry. When I was real little around the age of 6 I realized that something was not right. And soon after things just started falling into place. It was around the end of my kindergarten year and I was playing by my self like I always did. When the girls in the class invited me to play with them. Immediately I felt welcome. I felt like I belonged. They would dress me up. And it felt so right. I even acted like a girl. Of coarse then. I had no clue what the difference was between boys and girls. But this when on until the 2nd grade when i moved to a different school. And my dad had the talk with me. This is something that upset very bad. I became really confused and didn't know who I was. I started crying at night thinking about it. And every day was a battle. And I was starting to get bullied at school for being the weird kid in class. I was getting bullied every day. And my grades were dropping. This lasted six months before we moved again. And this time it was back to the school I left. I was again playing with the girls and acting like one. But they could tell something was wrong but I would not talk about. Thinking they would not want to play with me. This went on up till the end of the third grade. My parents had split up and I was devastated. The school had me in counseling trying to help me. And that did nothing. Eventually I locked the real me away inside. Just so I could fit in. And I stayed like that for years. It didn't start to resurface until I started Middle school. And thats when the bullying started again. Along with my turrets. I was soon taken out of school and was home bound until my sophomore year of high school. And by this time is was just ready to kill my self. I did not care any more. There was a war going on inside of me that was killing me. I knew I was a girl but the outside did not match. I would look at the other girls in their cute clothes and get so jealous. They had what I wanted. And I remained unhappy till I met Daniel. I could tell he was different from all the rest. He looked deeper than just skin. He looked into the real me. And Before I knew it. We were like brother. You could not get us apart. And the same goes for Cory. they were true friends and that was something I had been missing for a long time. And out friendship still holds true to this day. We have never fought. We understand each other. Heck you can just call us family cause thats what we are. But I still knew that I hurt on the inside. And it took me forever to do it. But I told Daniel that I was transgender. I was afraid that he wouldn't want to be my friend any more but that was not the case. He accepted it. Like he already knew. And that made me feel so much better inside. But still its a battle every day.

Lifes Curve Ball

Life is something that know one understands. It can be good and it can be bad. And sometimes just wrong. But in my life it has been one Curve Ball after another. So many things have happened to me throughout life. So good things. Like meeting the friends I have now. Who I will always love. They have been with me through some tough times and I think you for that. Daniel Potter. My best friend of all. He may not know this. But he has saved my life. Back when I came back to school from being home bound. I had only a few friends and they was just off doing there own thing. Not really thinking about me. They was out parting and doing drugs. While I was fighting a loosing battle. My life had took a turn for the worst. I had been abused for 8 years and had lost all hope. I had planed to kill my self. But something happened that stopped me in my tracks. I met Daniel. He took me into his group. Which is the most unpopular kids in the school. But they are fun. He showed me what true friendship was. The thoughts about killing my self slowly went away as the days passed. I was becoming happy when I was around him. Even though I went home and got abused night after night. I was always happy when morning came around just so i could see Daniel again. Along with Daniel came Cory, Ricky, Cody, Shelley, Kelly, and many more people that I owe my life to. But even though I had great friends that cared about me. Life still remained a battle for awhile. Because of my stepfather. Then one night I was filled with so much hate for the man. I snapped when he started in on me. I blacked out from the rage. And came to standing over his body. With blood all over my hands. I had almost killed him. I moved out 2 weeks later. And started a new life. But still keeping my friends close by. And still there is a secret that I have been keeping for my whole life that has tore me up on the inside. I have laid awake at night thinking about it. Only 3 people know the secret and one is Daniel. Along with his cousin, and his Girl Friend. And now I am tired of hiding it. If I don't tell more people its just going to kill me. So for all my friends who read this. I am transgender. I am a girl in a boys body. I know it don't make any since. But it is the truth. I would not make that up. I have been this way for a very long time. I hate my body. I have a penis when know i should have a vagina. Every thing is just wrong on my body. The only thing female on this body is my hands. I pray every night just to wake up as a girl. But it never happens. I can't tell my family this cause they will disown me. So one day. I will end up having the body i wish to have. But not any time soon. But all I ask is to accept me for who I am. Not what I am. I am a GIRL!!! not a boy. even though I still love girls. I am one. But this is all i have to say.

Life Of A Street Racer 2

Now i have told about my drift experience. And some about my street racing. Well lets just say with a new town comes new challenges. After I moved here I started looking for new racers to test my skills against. I told you of my first race here on my last post but here is more on the racing i have not told you about. After i beat the honda stuff started moving fast for me. It seemed like every time i got out im my car some one new wanted to try me. And i never back down from a good race. Like when i first drove over here and i followed my dad. me and him got into one on the final 6 miles home. I remember it all to well. Mostly because I caught air comming off a bridge going i dont know how fast. But time to reflect on closer races. I had one right before july 4th that was fun. and guy in a 240sx had been following me for a long time. then when we pulled down onto the road i live on wich is on the other side of a one lane tunnel. i stoped and he came up beside me and said let me race that beast. i could tell he was going to be cocky as most racers are. The car he was driving looked nice. It had a full body kit, 17' wheels a carbon fiber wing roof scoop. tons of body mods but none to the motor. So i tell him to follow me. so he does till i come up to what i call the test course were i test run my car. But its accualy just a realy curvy road with pleanty of bums and stuff. He honks his horn 3 times and we take off. I take a quik lead on him. but he stays with me untill around turn 5. when his rear end comes around on him and he hits the ditch. Opon seeing this I wip the car around in the road and head back towards him. i get there and he is just sitting in the car with a red face cusing up a storm. I help him out of the car and we inspect the damage. The whole rear end of the car was smashed. it was no longer driveble. Then he cracked a joke. he said. DANG if i could of kept her on the road i could of had you. then he smiled and said. when i get this thing fixed look out cause i will be looking for another race. the only thing i had to say was your on. and we left it at that.

how i got started in the drifting world.

it started when i got my license. i would go over to a gravel back road down by watauga lake. and practice drifting around the gravel turn which is hard to do concidering if you mess up you will either go off into a ditch or you will slide off the bank into the water below. After i felt like i had mastered that. i took to drifting backroads all along johnson county. my favorite being copper head road. yes the same one in the song. after that i was comming home from daniels house and decided to try forge creek. So i came out of daniels road and redlined at 6000rpm in first gear. shifted to second and chirped my tires. Then i redlined at 6000rpm once again. Shifted rpms droped to 4500rpms. i was now at the first turn. So i turn outwards then downshift to second while turning inwards sharply. rpms hit 7500 and i feel the drift start. so i feather the gas as i go around the turn. once i was through the turn i kicked her into a strait line and started up the hill towards the biggest and most dangerous turn. Opon topping the hill. i am running in 4th gear at 3500rpm i then turn outwards downshift to third and turn in hard. motor running at 6500rpms. once the drift was started i aplyed some counter stear making sure not to over do it or i would hit the gard rail. about half way down the hill i started to get to close to the rail so i let off the gas for a sec and taped the brake the aplied the gas. again. this alowed me to pull away from the rail enough so i could make it down the himm while keeping the drift. once off the hill i slowed my car down and pulled off to the side of the road and got out of the car to inspect the hill that i had just came down. I was tempted to do it again but i said better not push my luck tonight. so after that i just drove on home. the next night i was at work and it was raining so the parking lot was slick. so after we closed i decided to have some fun while the others took a smoke break. i got in my car and proceeded to drift around the parking lot. after that i was always looking for the next rain so i could practice more. a time came were i was heading home from daniels and i was speeding as i usualy do at night. i came around a turn and a car passed me and put its breaks on. then i saw blue lights. Automaticly I drop it down to third and take off like a bulit. Then I turn off my lights and find a back road to go down. At the same time i pull down the back road the cop sees the reflector on the rear of my car so he too cuts down the road. Here i am driving no lights going around 65 70mph on a curvy road. trying my best to keep a few turns ahead of the cop. Once i got to the end of the road i turned around to see if i could double back and see if i could shake him So i turn my lights back on and drive the speedlimit back his direction. And watch as he passes me. I pull into a person drive way and turn off the car just in case he came back. i waited there for arounf 10min before i took back off and went home. So months passed and i just kept getting better and better at it. then came a big snow and i had just got my car fixed. and i was at work. there was a foot of snow on the ground on we decided to close the store early because of the snow. i was chosen to take some of the workers home because they knew i could drive in it better than most. But at the same time i was happy cause i got to drift in the snow while taking them home. it was very fun. after that snow fall my car was messed up again. i had rupsured a linkage on my split drive shaft. it took about three weeks to get it road worthy again. then a few months passed and i was growing tired of mountain city cause there was nothing there for me exept friends. My dad offered to let me live with him over here in marion nc. So i jumped at the chance to out of mountain city. Sure it was hard to do but it had to be done. Just a few days after i had moved in. i was out roming the town getting to know my surroundings. When a honda civic pulls up beside me at a red light and the dude starts to talk trash about my car. So i said to him. Why dont you put your motor were your mouth is. I bet you $50 i will kill that honda. Your on he said. So i sit there waiting for the light to turn green and he is reving the engine putting on a big show. And i just sit there with a grin on my face. Then boom the light turns and i take off burning rubber. He kept with me till i hit 3rd then i was gone. I got stoped at a red and he pulled up beside me and said. Quote: DAMN BOY THAT THING IS QUICK. He then asked me to go to the walmart parking lot. So i go to walmart and park beside him. We get out off our cars and he came over to me and shook my hand. Then handed me $50 and said you earned it. We stood there and talked for about an hour when he said. How about you come to the track this weekend and race. I asked what type of race. he replied circut and drift. I accepted the invite. the next thing i know i was at the track and was being put up against mustangs, camaros, civics, 240sx,s and others. i was the only one driving a 29 year old car. I ran the circut and came in third. then we switched over to freestyle drift. So as i was running. i was not aware there was some people in the stands looking for talent. After i was done and was sitting in the pits. a guys comes up to me and says. I want you to drive in a event on the 1st of july here. i asked what type. and he said you will have a chance to get into FormulaD if you win. So i accepted. The first comes around and i go to the track. There were 2 races going on that day and in order to compete in the drifting i also had to compete in the circut race. I won the circut event then came the drifting. and i made it to the final round. and that is were i learned that the guy i would be racing was no rookie. It was Sam Hubinet from the FormulaD series. I knew i was in trouble when i saw him pull up beside me. He was driving a new charger pushing 560hp. First heat he was the lead car and i was having trouble keeping up with him. Then came the second heat were i was the leader. As much as i tried i could not pull away from him. Then came the results of the race. Sam had beat me by alot. But after all was said and done he came up to me and said. You have to be the best rookie i have ever drove with. Sorry you did not make it. but i look forward to racing you next year. With that he left. Since then i have been invited to some races. And that is how i have been paying to maintain my car. I have placed bets with every person i have raced since then. and made alot off that. but that is how i got into the drift scene.

family

Family is a important thing in life. many people know this in life even i do. but let me ask you this what is family. there is many different types of family the good type thats all ways there for you and the bad type that you think cares for you but when something happens to you or someone you love and care for they turn and run. I have found that this is something that appears alot in life if you study the world around you. myself i have both types of family in my life. but what do you concider family. i concider my friends, and relatives family. most of them are all ways there for me when i need them, but there are some of them that dont give a crap what happens to me. But here recently i found out what true family is. My father and his girlfriend. saw that i was under alot of stress and lossing weight fast. My nerves were bad and i felt like i was at rock bottom. sure i had friends to hang out with and my mother, but i still felt like something was missing in my life. i was missing happynes. and about a week ago i asked my father to take me in. i was willing to quit my job and start over. my father said come on. so that day i got on the phone and told my mom i was moving out. what confused me was she was not upset or any thing like that. That struck me as odd, at the time but then i got to thinking how much she was not around any more. i never got to spend any time with her. and the only time she was around was on payday. so that made me think all she wanted me around for was money, but money was hard to come by concidering because of her my bank account ran dry. so im glad to be moved out of the house. i feel beter about my self even if i am uneployed now. but it gives me time to think about things for awhile and get my mind together. but back to the family thing. family is people that love you and will help you in any way they can. so family for me goes past blood for me. it runs into my best friendships. and they are true friends. thats really all i have to say for now.

A New Start

this blog goes out to all my friends. as of today i have moved out of TN and in to NC. i am living with my father. the reason i done this is for a few reasons. the first reason is i felt like i was restricted from doing the things i wish to do in life. as in going to collage to further my education. or getting a good job. Mcds is a good job for some one that is still in school and dont have nothing better to do. i have worked at Mcds for 2 years now and its not a real job. A real job is something were you have to move hevy objects, or any thing else that you have to use your muscles to do i learnd that yesterday. and my body has never hurt this much, but i feel good about what i have done. now i know what i must do in life to get what i want. i must get my hands dirty and really push my body to the limits. Another thing my mother was preventing from being truley happy. she was always nagging my head off about her problems. and couldnt talk about mine. and i had alot of them in Mountain City. i had no money cause my mother took most of it so she could pay bills but it left me with very little money. even though we was keeping the bills payed i felt like i was letting money get the best of me. i realy dont care about money it just causes so many problems any more. i am now unenployed because of the move but i dont mind cause it lets me relax and clear my head. But i am looking for a new job as of now but i may be awhile till i get one. but i have a loving family here and im ready to start my life over in a new town. so i can make new friends and have new oppertunitys. but i will not forget my other friends cause they are all like brothers and sisters to me. i love them all. so daniel, cory, maria, gary, sean, and every one else i know and love dont think i will abandon you cause i wont i am always a phone call away.

life of a street racer

what can i say i like to street race. i have been doing it for a while now. sure its ilegal. and can get me put in jail. but ill take the chance. i remember my first race it was against a handa civic. it started off and i thought i was going to loose. but after the handa hit 3rd gear i started catching up with him fast. then i hit fourth gear at 5,000rpms and slung by him like he was sitting still. it was such a great feeling and a good adrinalin rush. after my first race i started to push my car to the limit and finaly became one with the car. about a month later word was spreading fast that i was the one who had to be beat at his own game so the people started coming at me like crazy. they all wanted a peice of me. i started geting a name for my self on the streets. then i dissaperd for awhile. well i really didnt disaper i started being a shadow racer. i would come up behind unsuspecting racers with my lights off then turn them on right when i got right beside them on the road. but i would only keep the on until i went around a turn then i would vanish into the night. word spread quik about the mysterious shadow car. then one night while i was coming up on a car with my lights off i got reall close and saw a light bar on top of the car. and about the time i saw this a car whent by on the other side of the road and the cop spoted me. luckley i was coming up on a back road i knew well so. the second the cop turned on the lights i darted down a back road with pedal to the medal. i watch in the rear view as the cop tried to catch me but after i came around a certan turn i pulled into a drive was and turned the car off. and i watched as the cop went by. i waited about an hour before i took off again. and i made it home safe. that was my closest call ever. now i have calmed down some. but i still race from time to time just to have some fun. but hey im still waiting for the day some one can beat me on the local touge.

what can i say

lets just say im hating my life right now. today i was having a really good day for once. that dont happen very often any more. here is how my day went today. i woke up as i do every day cause if i didnt wake up i would be dead. even though i bet death would be kind of cool. ok back on subject. after i woke up i went into the living room to listen to my mother gossip as she does every time i see her. even though i hate to listen to it. THANK GOD FOR INTERNET!!! thats the only way i can zone her out and keep a sain mind..... well a half sain mind cause i am a little insain if you ask my freinds. ate myself some food. then got on the computer for about an hour. then i looked at the clock and there was one hour till work so i got ready and left. but i didnt go strait there. i stoped by auto zone to pick up some car paint for my car. there went $76.00 down the drain oh well its the price you pay when restoring a car. after i got done at auto zone i went to work. i clock in and they put me on fried pruducts. i dont mind that too much concidering they depend on me more than any one else there any way. i have been there longer than all the other employies. i still dont see why im not the manager yet. ill get my time in the spot light. after about an hour on fries they put me on table wich i cant stand table cause its just too crazy to work on. i really prefer the grill over any thing else there because i am unmatched when it comes to cooking on it. they kept me on table for about a hour in a half. then they put me on front counter to take orders. that i dont mind cause i love holding money. of course i havent met a person in this world who dont so thats cool. i stayed there until i went on break. i went to burger king to eat cause i love the quad stackers with extra stacker sause. then when i got my food i took a bite and noticed that it was thicker than it should be so i looked and they had put 6 peices of meat on there. i was in burger heaven. lol. after my break i went back to taking orders and i did that till 10:30pm. then i had to go and clean the walk in freezer. but i like the freezer cause i love cold places. after i was done with the freezer i was about to go home for the night when my manager told me to put the tea in the walk in cooler. and there was about 24 gallons of sweat tea i had to push in on a cart. so i get in to the walk in and there is a bunch of boxes of food on the ground so i would have to try to get around them. that when my night got bad. i thought i was in the clear and 12 gallons of tea hit the floor. oh man did i cuse. i had to stay over and clean up that mess after i was done i walk out the door and drove home and started typing this out. so now you know why i my day sucks.

my life in view 2

after i graduated i started working full time at mcds. were i was starting to spend all my time and feeling like my life had no meaning to it. but i knew there had to be a way to be happy again. so i started to look online for college and i found devry university. so i applied for college. but something happened and i was not able to go which realy sucked concidering that was my only chance to get out of this hell. the reason i call it hell is because of a mother always complaining about money, and going through the change of life. after awhile i started to look into studieing japanese. which i find to be fun. but when i speak it people look at me in a weired way. like saying wtf. its left me confused. i dont know what i want any more. i want happienes but there is only one was to achieve that and that is to move from here were my mom is and move in with my father. so that leaves me at a cross roads. should i stay here and be unhappy for the rest of my life and not hurt my mother by leaving, or should i move in with my father and be happy and do something that will get me places in life. cause were i live now there is nothing here its a retirement town. sure there are people my age here but there is not any thing for us to do here ecept to watch out friends get into drugs and go to jail. its a really hard thing to watch. i was moved here when i was young and lived with a drunk up till a few years ago. i tried to kill him but was not able to because of my mother. since then we have been trying to make ends meet. which are almost able to do. thats why i think she would be better off with out me. well thats pretty much my life.

my life in view

I have a interesting life i think. i have some funny friends were i live most of them are nerds but what can i say. its never boring when you hang around me and my friends. i have found that i am a out cast when it comes down to it. i remember back when i started high school after coming off home bound. i didnt realy fit in with most people in the school, but there was a small group of people that just interested me. it was a group of nerds. so i started to hang out with them every day. and i felt like i really fit in with them. before i knew it i was a nerd myself. i thought my life could not get any funner than it already was. but soon after meeting them we all started kung fu. i found that to be alot of fun. but that was put an end because i had to get a job so i could help pay bills. i got my first job a mcdonalds. and quikly became the king of the grill. so i had a job and could pay bills. but i also still tried to hang out with all my friends. i found that it was hard to do concidering that i worked almost every day after school. then out of no were they cut my hours. for around 3 months, so i had plenty of time to hang out with my friends. and this was my senior year in high school. so i had alot to do. come the end of the year i had my hours back at mcdonalds and it was wearing me out quik. my grades were starting to drop cause i had no time to do my homework. but thanks to a teacher that helped me out. my grades were coming back up and i was able to concetrate better on my work. so in may of 08 i graduated from high school.